Saturday, September 15, 2012

Thank You

I am overwhelmed by the good wishes and kind words I have received these last few days about being accepted to speak at the conference next year. These expressions of support mean the world to me, and I feel so privileged to be part of this amazing community of women.

I was talking to my sister recently about my internet friends, and made the comment that my 'wifey' (Bea, the lovely @mLadyLazarus) is one of my closest friends, despite her living in Spain and us not hanging out in person. My sister protested this could not possibly be the case, that without being in the same room you can't possibly know someone.


I take her point, there is a certain extent to which intimacy relies on place and shared space. But virtual communities have existed a lot longer than we think (certainly since the early modern period) and we do ourselves a disservice if we relegate our internet friends to second class status. These last years my internet friends have saved me many a time when my friends who live in the same state weren't around and didn't make the effort. 


What I remember is that Bea and I have chatted long into the night, talking about anything and everything, for years now. I remember that Skully was the first person with whom I was able to bond over sharing the same illness, despite us becoming friends through something completely unrelated, and that we only discovered that common ground because she was brave enough to speak about it first. I remember Nina and I talking about the differences between the academic world in Canada and that in Australia, and the difficulties of blogging when you're actually a private person. I remember Lyn messaging me in great excitement when she discovered my name is a synonym for a word she looked up (so cool!), and the fact that she shared with me her dating history in a way that made me feel less alone. I think of Sarah and her family and everything they have been through these last months, and how Lyn and a few others were able to be there for her on her wedding day. (She always gives such wise advice, even if it's just about what children's books to buy for a friend.) I think of my friend Rob and the silly jokes we share. And I think of Emma and the beautiful pictures of her flowers that she posts that always make me feel better, and the homey recipes she passes on that have gone down very well in real life. 


I am so grateful for you all, and what you share with me. The internet is an amazing thing. And the only people who doubt how important internet friends can be are the people who aren't lucky enough to have them. 

11 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. You are the queen of silly jokes. You are also the token male reader of this blog - welcome!

      Delete
    2. I laughed so hard with both of you! :D
      And by the way, I love silly jokes, I bet you didn't know that!

      Delete
  2. This is warming my heart right now. I have been struggling in the last few months with sorting out where in my life my 'internet friendships' fit, as they do resemble real life friendships more and more. It is a different kind of friendship, there is no denying that, but just how different? And how much do those differences really matter? Does online communication satisfy those basic needs we have for bonding (I don't mean as a sole source, but just in comparison to face to face communication)? (And even there, I had to resist using the term "in real life" because this IS real life, it's just not face to face.)

    Anyways, I am sure I will continue to ponder about the role of online communities in my life for some time to come but in the meantime, I'm very glad to have met you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For you and I and others who have trouble sharing the really important stuff and in asking for what we need, the internet allows us a way of cutting through that.

      I am better at asking for what I need from my internet buddies, without a doubt. Practice, maybe?

      Delete
  3. 'Back in the day' I remember similar discussions being had about penpals! Nothing beats an in-person friendship but internet friends can be a vitally important part of the friendship mix.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, you and I are meeting in person in just a few months, so we're real life now! Go us!

      Delete
    2. (Late to the party) Are you?? I'm excited for you both!!! :)
      And a bit jealous. too :P
      xxx

      Delete
  4. Well said. My internet friends are people that have shared some of my lowest and highest moments in the past few years. If that isn't a true friend, I don't know what is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. I must admit, I like knowing you're in the same city as me. It's a good feeling.

      Delete
  5. I've never had internet friends, until now, and I find they fill a space you didn't know it was there (at least in my case), a very important one. Of course it's not the same but you miss them, worry about them... I agree it's real life, as well, opposed to many people think.
    I love you, wifey!!

    ReplyDelete

Comments are like crack, please enable me.